The feeling of self-hate and worthlessness are pretty frustrating to deal with… You have dreams and aspirations as to who you wish you could be and how you wish the world around you could be, about how you could play a part in the lives of the people around you… Yet you don’t feel worthy or fitting for such a role, the feeling of inadequacy seems to snuff out the smallest spark of hope and confidence that you might have had. You feel like no one would need you around, that no one would even notice if you were gone. That you don’t feel like anyone would see anything within you, that they wouldn’t see the potential that is buried deep within.
The pent up whirlwind of emotions can become so volatile. Some days you just want to explode and scream… Or to just beat your fists against the wall. You just want some way of unleashing the tightness in the chest and releasing the burden on the shoulders.
As the idiom goes, “a face only a mother could love”… Sometimes it does feel like it rings true. Speaking from a christian perspective, it feels like at times that only a Creator would love what he has made. For those without the knowledge of Christ it would be even harder to make it through. Even those who don’t have a choice in whether your part of their life or not cannot guarantee their support for you, even the idiom says “could”, as in possibly.
