Arguments with Parents...

In our household, in terms of knowing about each others personal lives, I'm probably the most distant compared to my brother. We do not generally have many arguments apart from the nagging of mum trying to get me to do chores immediately rather than in a few hours time. But there is one topic that, even after a year of its explosive (in a bad way) beginning, every time it is bought up, heated arguments are thrown across the house. That one topic is about schoolies last year. As you may or may not know, I graduated last year, and the intention was that a group of us from church would head up to the sunshine coast for 5 days to celebrate schoolies together. It was a once in a lifetime chance and experience. You cannot repeat schoolies, you cannot repeat the atmosphere, because the context in which that event occurs has come and past and never to come again. My mum believed that I did not put any effort into my schooling, and therefore did not deserve to have that opportunity to relax and chillout with my friends for a few days. For the whole schoolies week, I was at home all day every day except on one day, I got some of my school friends together to hang out for a few hours... That week I did not speak to my mum with out giving extremely crude and sarcastic remarks and would spill out into red hot anger at the slightest provocation, entering arguments with nothing but bitterness and using it to demonstrate my continuing distain. Even 3 months after schoolies, I was still dark and still slightly bitter for that decision that she made. Even a year after, when schoolies is bought up in a conversation, the arguments are still heated, with mum giving me crappy excuses now that apparently I was not trustworthy and apparently didn't know what hell I would raise while I was away as well as saying that schoolies wasn't safe and crap even though we were not anywhere close to where the masses went ie. Gold Coast. Neither of the last two excuses by the way were any of her arguments at the time to defend her decision.

But being the person I am, I will present an argument in the most unbias way possible, providing key points of both arguments as well as defenses for each statement I made against my mum's comments.

• You did not put any effort into you schooling particularly grade 11 & 12 and did not get good marks worthy of celebrating and so you shall not go and celebrate. (Main point)

1. Firstly, if I had paid no effort into my schooling, I would not have passed any of my work. It is true that I had 3 C+s but I also had 3 Bs... Bs don't grow on trees, they are worked for and so I did put effort into school. It is true that I did not achieve great, but not everyone is capable of being OP1s and Duxs, in fact only gifted/talented people with the right attitude and persistence can hope to achieve the top as there is no room for two at the top. A lot of people are only capable of average, that is why its called an AVERAGE. Is it fair that just cos your average that all your efforts are for naught and are worth nothing? Of course not. When you celebrate, you do not merely celebrate the destination, but the journey. There is more to a goal than the rewards you reap. Its not about how far the effort got you but the quality of the effort, and also the mistakes that you made and reflecting on the things that could have been better. Just cos I did not get straight As as every ASIAN parents would wish/(demand), does not mean I put zero or next to zero effort into school. Just because my brother did much better than me does not mean I put zero or next to zero effort into school. Its not always about the ends, but the means to the end. First defense...
   
   
2. Secondly, I spent 13 years at school, at the same school in fact. What is the purpose of schoolies? to celebrate the end of school, to celebrate the conclusion of those 13 years. By saying I do not deserve to celebrate schoolies, are you discrediting those 13 years as worthless and wasted time? By saying just because I did not do so well in senior that I had paid zero effort in the 10 years before that? Did I not have state topping performances for numerous competitions? Did I not have state records and national level sporting achievements during those 13 years? Are they meaningless as well? If so then why did you waste money in giving me the opportunity to do those competitions and to go to states and nationals for those competitions? Do they deserve no recognition? My middle school years were by far my best, apart from teh few subjects I disliked, like japanese and german... I aced almost everything I touched. Does THAT effort mean nothing? Was that EFFORTLESS? no... Effort does not always mean success, but I was not without success, just not at the time when it mattered most. That doesn't mean I paid no effort. Second defense...
   
   
3. I was under circumstances that prevent me from focusing on my schooling that you have no idea of yet. And will not know of until you hear my testimony. It is true that in senior years my ability to put effort into schooling was diminishing rapidly. I could not focus, could not perform. Why? Because I was severely depressed, to the point of 2-3 months of counselling. And that held me down during all of my senior years, and I was not dragged off to counselling by a friend until during the most CRITICAL stage of term 3 in which results meant everything for OP. How could I possibly have performed well under those circumstances? How can you perform when you felt like killing yourself? How can you perform when you felt no meaning, no sustenance, no energy? The fact that I pulled of an OP10 should be a friggin miracle in itself. Of what effort I could spare, I used it all. It was well below my potential, true. But potential is crippled and disabled under the weight of depression. Third Defense...
   

• You were not trustworthy and I would not have known what you would have done up there.

1. Firstly, I was not by any means a disruptive or destructive person, secondly, think of the people I was going with... They were all friends from CHURCH, seriously if I said I was going with school friends, then you have a case for concern. But even I had the intelligence and the wisdom to know that that would be a BAD idea to go schoolies with them... and I chose to go with my church friends... does that not indicate my intentions at all? Do you think I would go with other christians to raise hell? Of course not... Do you think my church friends would let me raise hell? I'm pretty sure they wouldn't. Just because I failed to do chores the instant you command me (and I did alot of chores, the only things I didn't do was operate the washing machine and clean the inside of the toilets) doesn't mean I'm not trustworthy. A lot of kids at that age DO NOTHING at all to assist at home. My BROTHER did NOTHING during and after his senior years. I did not stop doing chores in my senior years, in fact I did even more! My brother did not TOUCH the garden after grade 8... I kept doing the gardens and mowing the lawns and everything in the house, the dishes, vacuuming, hanging out clothes whenever I was told to, mopping the floors, cleaning windows, etc. and you consider that "untrustworthy" and "inadequate". That's just ridiculous, and insulting to hear from your own mother. First defense...
   
   
2. What do other people do at schoolies? Drugs? Alcohol? Smoke? Fight? Sex? Party like retards, drunk and disorderly? Do I look like a person who would do ANY of those things? Do you think I chose a bunch of people who would do these things to go to schoolies with? NO... If someone told me to smoke I'd light it up and shove it up their ass. That is my attitude to those sorts of things. Do you seriously think I would do ANYTHING like that to pollute myself? That is an insult in itself to even CONSIDER the possibility that I would do something like that. Second defense...

• Schoolies week is unsafe, therefore you should not go anyways, even if you deserve to celebrate.

1. Tell me, does that mean during schoolies week, the world suddenly becomes a war zone? Do you not go shopping in safety at sunnybank plaza? Do you not eat dinner at a restaurant in safety? Sunnybank is 50km or so away from the Gold Coast and is SAFE... then would Sunshine Coast be any different? Its true that it is also a favourable destination for schoolies, but the place where all the main crap that we get told a million times about at school before graduation was about GOLD COAST schoolies. It is a hole down there, and I NEVER intended to set foot in that place during schoolies week. And besides, we would have been a group of 6-8 or something, safety in numbers. Weaponry optional... But seriously it would not have been unsafe if you had half a brain and a controllable ego. I had no ego and am more than capable of making sound decisions in terms of safety. I'm not completely socially retarded. First defense...
   
   
2. Think about everyone that is going to graduate. You have your bad kids and your good kids. Think about all the people who are going to schoolies to raise literal hell. Think about all the people who are going to consider doing drugs or doing sexually immoral acts at parties and crap. Think about all the people who intend to spike drinks. Where do they congregate? Gold Coast. Who are the people who avoid Gold Coast schoolies? People who do not LIKE the atmosphere there. Why? COS IT IS A HOLE... So the people who don't go are gonna go elsewhere to celebrate away from the crowd. Do you think that the people who avoided GC schoolies would act in the exact same identical fashion as the animals down there? no... I'd hardly would have worried about getting bashed walking around Sunshine Coast relative to if I was at GC. People who go to GC want to mix with strangers. People who go elsewhere don't necessarily want to actively interact with other groups on an excessive level. Sure you'll run into them and maybe exchange a few words and greeting, but apart from that you stay within your own groups. And so why would it be excessively unsafe, if unsafe at all? It's just merely paranoia that is influencing your decision. And look they have all returned in one piece with no problems... So that proves your paranoia even further. Second defense...

• Your brother did not go to schoolies, so why should you go?

1. Firstly, he did not go because most of his closest friends all stayed behind in brisbane to be game freaks. And he joined them. So he had no reason to go to schoolies. Who the heck goes to schoolies without his friends? What level of a loser would you be if you went to some random place all by yourself to celebrate all by yourself? First defence...
   
   
2. Secondly, the friends of his that did go (from memory) went to the Gold Coast schoolies. All the more reason NOT to go. And so with no reason to go to schoolies at all, why go? and thus he stayed behind and mashed around in Brissie instead. A very logical choice and course of action, predictable too. Second defence...
   
   
3. My friends are not absolute computer nerds and would not want to sit down for a WHOLE BLOODY WEEK playing computer games NON-STOP. So why not go somewhere else and hang out together and enjoy each others company? Sure they played abit of games... singstar and random group interactive games... Just cos my brother's friends did not choose to go somewhere reasonable to celebrate or did not want to go anywhere to celebrate doesn't mean my friends are identical... So applying my brother's friendship groups interests to our friendship group's interests is just plain stupid and lacks wisdom altogether. Do I apply your set of interests towards all your friends and assume that "all you old people are the same"? NO, cos I'm not that naive. Do everyone not have a different way of using their spare time? If yes (and I hope it would be, cos you'd be incredibly naive to suggest otherwise), then why can't you see that groups of young people are different from each other just like groups of older people are different from each other? Third defence...
   

If you haven't picked up the point from above already, the main reason why I was so infuriated was the fact that her statements and reasons as to why I should not go to schoolies at Coolum? (i think thats where they went) at the Sunshine Coast away from the bad crowds at the Gold Coast with a bunch of CHURCH friends, undermined every ounce of effort and every achievement and progress as well as every bit of knowledge and wisdom learnt in school. I don't think what I have stated above seems unreasonable at all... Though you might think otherwise... I'm not sure... If I was absolutely chaotic and did literally raised hell through all 13 years of schooling and I was a maniac and did all sort of stupid stuff on all levels as well as had no wisdom to judge whether a certain action was appropriate for a certain environment and had no shame then I'd understand how you wouldnt trust me and you wouldn't think I deserved to celebrate the end of my schooling. But I didn't raise hell in school, I actually made an effort to focus through most of school before I sank into depression but was always pestered unceasingly by annoying classmates that would not stop pranking me and doing all sorts of crap which would get me in trouble constantly... either way... I believe that I've made my point quite clear... And I can't be bothered continuing this rambling...