Weddings...

As I said this morning, I went to a wedding today as well as the reception and the couple that were getting married was the older sister of my brother's fiancee. So therefore I did not really know her personally nor do I know the groom personally either. Therefore the wedding was of no real significance to me. But I dunno, maybe I'm just cold and heartless but while some people would be saying "Oh I am sooo happy for you!", I don't feel any joy or happiness or excitement watching someone else's wedding particularly when I don't know them very well. I guess the fact that both families were christian families of incredibly strong faith as well as the groom being a chaplain and a youth pastor and the bride is also a youth leader in her church does help me feel a bit more happier for them. But otherwise, I barely feel the joy. I guess I'm not a very normal person... I feel no happiness watching a couple exchange vows and rings. What I do feel happy about is witnessing the implementation of those vows. Even if I didn't know them personally, I would be absolutely delighted to be at a 10th wedding anniversary, probably even happier than being at the actual wedding.

I don't know why I feel this way... I can trace no logical root for this kind of mentality, I just think like that. I guess if a really close friend of mine was getting married then I would be happy for them. But only under my own personal psychological standards of whether I thought they should be getting married or whether I kinda anticipated whether it would happen or not. I wasn't expecting my brother to propose when he did, so when he told me that he was engaged, I was kinda surprised, but in my mind I was surprised in a kinda negative way. I felt it was too soon. And so I never really developed a great deal of joy from the news. I dunno... I felt much happier when I saw photos of another friend's 5th anniversary, and it wasn't even a wedding anniversary, it was just a dating thing. I guess I prefer to witness the test of time rather than listen to people promise that they will stand that test of time. I'm not sad or unhappy for them don't get me wrong, I just fail to get excited that's all. I guess the whole marriage/divorce rates thing has kinda numbed my sense of joy for these occasions and if I percieve something as hasty, I won't really enjoy it greatly.

But yeah... That's what I think anyways...




O btw, I have finished Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warrens, so now I can finish the rest of What's So Amazing About Grace